Phil’s spinal surgery hadn’t gone well. From a self-defined 70% of full painless function, he was down to about 30% after the operation. We spent an hour talking and I was struck by how much the poor quality of the interpersonal, relational care was at least as much of a disappointment as the failure of the operation to improve his symptoms. He reminded me of General Practice Professor, Kieran Sweeney who complained, in tears, that while the transactional aspects of his care with cancer was faultless, the relational aspects simply were not.

Medicine is not solely a technical activity and pursuit, medicine is understanding and being with people at the edge of the human predicament.

He goes on to make the distinction between being cared for and being cared about. Those caring for him were kind and competent, but those who cared about him, went beyond this to find out what…